E.F.T. Tapping When Your Baby Is In An Incubator

E.F.T. Tapping When Your Baby Is In An Incubator

E.F.T. Tapping When Your Baby Is In An Incubator

EFT Tapping When Your Baby is in an Incubator

As a parent there can be few things that make you feel more helpless and useless than when your premature or sick baby is whisked off in an incubator! You have to stand back whilst your baby is put on a ventilator, wired up to noisy monitors,  poked, prodded and subjected to painful and invasive procedures.  Your entire being; your biology, your heart and soul are screaming out to love, nurture and protect this precious little scrap, yet you can do nothing!  As a new mother, every nerve, sinew and hormone is programmed to hold, love and nurture the new arrival,.  You know all the interventions, as painful as many of them are, could be life saving. So you have to stand back, let strangers take over and somehow keep a lid on your viscerally raw emotions and instincts, your baby’s life depends on those strangers and there is absolutely nothing you can do. 

Or is there? 

Back in 1992 when I faced this situation, there was nothing I could do. I didn’t know Emotional Freedom Technique or Reiki. I had no way of soothing myself far less helping my daughter.  A bit later we were allowed to put our hands in the incubator, find a tiny piece of flesh which didn’t have a monitor or cannula  on it and touch her but that didn’t compensate for not being able to pick her up, hold her or feed her. 

Back then, like millions of other parents, I used will-power and determination to get through the long days and nights and continue to function. Many medical staff complimented me on how well I coped. Of course I wasn’t really coping, I was simply repressing painful emotions which is never healthy and brings it’s own problems further down the line!

Emotional Freedom Technique is definitely number one on my list of things I wish I’d known back then!

How You Can Help Yourself and Your Baby With Surrogate E.F.T. Tapping

It’s wonderful to see Emotional Freedom Technique becoming more widely known and accepted. It is very quick and easy to learn and amazingly effective even in the hands of complete beginners. Not all teachers know, or will tell you, that E.F.T. can also be done surrogately. You can tap on behalf of someone else even when you are not with them.

As we are using loving intention and energy, time and distance don’t matter. You can tap for your baby no matter where you are!

I won’t speculate on how or why this works, there are many different theories and for the purposes of this article, all I care about is that it helps someone out there.

Firstly Soothe Your Self!

We often project our fears onto others. In such a traumatic situation as the birth of a premature or sick baby you have to soothe yourself first. We are no use to anyone else when we are in deep trauma and shock ourselves.  Your baby feels your emotions and energy so by soothing yourself you also help her.

Three Ways to Tap On Behalf of Your Baby

Tune in to your baby and tap for whatever you feel or can see is upsetting or traumatising them. The obvious ones are of course, pain, fear, isolation and any painful medical interventions.

1. Tap On Your Own Body As Yourself

Simply tap as you normally would, but rather than state you have the problem, use the baby’s name for your set up statement.  “Even though (baby’s name or my baby) has this problem (state problem) I deeply and completely love and accept (baby’s name).  Do the same with your reminder phrase.

2. Tap On Your Own Body As Your Baby

Similar to the method above but sometimes this helps you  tune into how your baby is feeling more accurately.  Bearing in mind how connected you are with your newborn it’s not surprising that you often feel exactly what they are feeling.  Set your intention that you are your baby, then tap around as though you are the baby. “Even though I have this problem” etc. Remember to disconnect and come back to yourself when you are done.

3. Using A Proxy Item To Represent Your Baby

This can be a really useful way to help you focus. Any teddy bear, doll or other toy will do. Simply intend the toy to represent your baby and tap around the points as normal.

EFT Surrogate Tapping Teddy Bear


The Question of Permission

As a parent you only have the highest and best intentions for your child, your heart and intent are pure and loving. In the higher realms we are all connected, we are all love, we are all one. If you feel the need to ask the baby’s higher self or soul for permission do so but I truly don’t think anything done from such love, care and compassion can ever cause harm.

If You Are New To Emotional Freedom Technique or would just like a refresher, watch this great 3-minute video by the lovely Sharon Smith. 

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Invoke The Power of Negative Thinking

Invoke The Power of Negative Thinking

Invoke The Power of Negative Thinking

the secret of negative thinking

“As an antidote to terminal optimism, I have recommended the power of negative thinking. Tongue in cheek of course”. Dr Gabor Maté .

“Optimism is a far more powerful state than trying to be “positive” because it comes from a deeper place of self-love”. Anita Moorjani

Books espousing the power of positive thinking fill the Self-Help sections of book shops everywhere and yet people still feel bad about themselves and still manifest illnesses that indicate a lack of self-love and self-esteem.

So how can this be?

I agree with Dr Maté when he says “As soon as we qualify the word thinking with the adjective positive we exclude those parts of reality that strike us as negative”. And with Anita Moorjani when she says “We can’t control having negative thoughts, so trying to push them away doesn’t make them disappear; at most, this just buries them temporarily”.

Genuine positive thinking must include all of our reality, we must be able to trust ourselves to face the complete truth. In order to heal, we must have the courage to think negatively. Not in a miserable, pessimistic way, rather in a spirit of openness, a willingness to look at what is out of balance, what is not working, where we are carrying old emotional wounds, what have we ignored and what our body is telling us!

If we don’t ask these questions, the emotional wounds and stresses remain hidden. Not only that, but forcing ourselves to think only positive thoughts creates more stress and self-judgement.

Many people have asked me if the releasing and clearing statements in our What Your Body Wants To Hear meditations are going to bring them more of what they don’t want. Such has been the power of law of attraction teachings that people are scared to hear or say certain words! As the root of many illnesses is stress and fear, being afraid to even think certain words can’t be healthy.

One study found that breast cancer patients with a propensity to engage in pleasant daydreams had a poorer prognosis than their more reality-based counterparts. So did women who reported fewer negative feelings. *

One way or another, most of us have been taught to suppress our true feelings. That teaching has gone so deep that we often don’t know what our true feelings are. As an Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner of almost twenty years, I absolutely believe there is a world of difference between gently acknowledging a painful negative emotion with love and the intention to heal it and talking about the pain, joining a group to talk about the pain and generally dwelling in it.

This seems to be corroborated by the amazing results people report when they use the clearing and releasing statements to lovingly name and acknowledge painful emotions before gently moving on to release them.

You CAN heal. You CAN change your thoughts but please be kind and gentle with yourself, you are just learning to turn your negative thoughts and words into positive ones. Don’t be afraid if a negative thought crosses your mind or a negative word passes your lips. The fear will give it more power and anchor it in to reality. Just be aware of it and let it pass. Remind yourself that kind of thinking is your old habit, you are now creating new habits.

And lastly, if part of you is ill or in dis-ease. Don’t get angry or blame it, treat it with gentleness and love as you would a sick child or puppy.

To your health and healing,



* Mogens R Jensen, “Psychobiological Factors Predicting the Course of Breast Cancer”, Journal of Personality 55, no.2 (June 1987), 337.

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